Child Custody Isn’t a ‘Fight!’ … It’s a Journey

Words matter.  While it’s tempting and natural to see every opposition we encounter as a fight, that word implies doing physical harm to your opponent. Although the word appeals to our core nature, it’s also a primitive approach to living.

Child custody lawsuits are just that — civil actions requiring courts to settle disagreements.  You don’t take a boxer, a warrior or a general into the action with you … you take a lawyer.

If we once felt strongly enough about someone to procreate (or otherwise share life), then we truthfully don’t want to hurt them, anyway (regardless of what we may tell our subsequent partners).  Instead, we’ve simply been hurt (betrayed, etc.) and express our fears, frustrations and anger through our words.

But courts (judges) and most jurors don’t embrace the lawyer or litigant who claims a ‘fight‘ for mere civil disagreement.  When you show up ready to ‘fight’ for your child … you look like a bully, a thug/thuggette or otherwise unstable — you’re not appealing.  Our true challenge in that circumstance is to overcome a primitive approach to disagreement and communicate the better angel of our natures …. and love our child in the process.

But I’ve also been there.  It’s taken me awhile to move beyond the ‘fight!‘ mentality and to see the family law process for what it is — just a delicate process, not an arena.

Plus, I figured it was better for my child if I grew up and got over the old lexicon.  It only takes one parent to make a difference.

Child custody litigation entails social studies, lawyers who dabble in social work and (gad!) actual mental health professionals … plus the judges who are thrown into the mix.  It’s not easy.  In fact, it’s complicated.

If we can help you navigate your path through child custody litigation or modification, please call us.

We’re careful and smart about the journeys we take … and any  ‘fight!‘ we choose.